I didn’t think this would be the first blog I would write, because my thoughts around it aren’t fully composed and I’m not great at expressing my feelings in writing…but here I go.

I hate the phrase “Life isn’t always fair” when are speaking in the context of sport.

Intro

I’m a high school and adult rugby coach and USA Rugby Referee. I think I’m pretty good at it, but there is plenty of room for improvement. I initially became a referee because I needed to make some money. There isn’t a lot of money in rugby, but $70 every weekend per game for about 3 hours of work, that’s a steal. So I signed up for the L100 Referee course, took the course, and began my journey.

Promises

One of the selling points of being a referee is giving back and traveling the world. Rugby has for the most part held to this promise. Though I’ve never been afforded the opportunity to referee outside the United States, I do frequently travel to other cities and states to referee some pretty good rugby.

Why do I keep refereeing…at this point

I’ve thought about this many times, and I’ve been asked this more times than I can count. Well here is my recruiting spill and truthful answer. Being a rugby referee made me a better player, and it fulfills all the excitement I get out of playing without passing and tackling. Being a referee requires us to communicate, read patterns, predict what will happen next, read the entire field, find trends, notice weaknesses while being in peak shape, and managing people around you…sounds like pretty damn good qualities for a player too right?

Why sports?

I grew up poor. I’m Black, and I’m short lol, a trifecta of inequalities I had no power in changing, nevertheless I’ve had a fulfilled and happy life. One of the biggest sources of fulfillment has been sports. The game of sport for me, hell for many that grew up like me, is the closest thing to equality we get out of life. In sports, the rules/laws are the same for everyone they don’t change based on your looks, background, race, etc. We make sport for this purpose…to be fair

When I hear life isn’t always fair

I was attending a referee clinic this past weekend, without a doubt, the best referee clinic I have attended to date. I had a list of topics I was hoping would be touched, and many were hit over the course of 2 days. Much of it dealt with assistant refereeing (AR), scrums, fitness, being a professional, and what it takes to move up…essentially.

Within one of the presentations, a slide read “Life isn’t always fair” and it triggered me. I stopped myself from questioning why that phrase, frankly because throughout the weekend we’ve repeatedly heard the phrases “team player” and “cultural fit” which are phrases that have been continually used to discriminate against hiring minorities, especially people of color, and when we look at the rugby referee landscape we typically don’t see people of color or the proportionality of playing demographics… but I digress.

Why do we, coaches and administrators, feel it’s okay to throw in “life isn’t always fair” in the context of sports when a sport is meant to promote fairness? Rugby law states “the referee must apply laws of the game fairly in every match” so why don’t we take that same mindset when talking about the intricacies of becoming a high-level referee? I’ve learned and noticed throughout my referee career that when an organization sees inequities, instead of taking a stance, the organization lets it be by saying “life isn’t always fair.” Why? I don’t know, maybe because it’s the easiest thing to do/say. Maybe to not ruffle feathers?

I don’t know, I don’t like it, and next time I see it I will probably mention it. In sports, many things are very tangible, which gives us an advantage that life doesn’t. We should work hard to make things fair because that’s our job. It’s tough, and it takes work, but let’s not brush things off as “life isn’t always fair” in sports because people use sports to get away from life and feel a sense of fairness.